She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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