I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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