Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
