god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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