dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She's the barista slut.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
