We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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