I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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