there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
