Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
