I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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