Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...

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(281): View more from Texas

I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?

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(416): View more from Toronto

Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?

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(507): View more from Minnesota

So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.

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(914): View more from New York

Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.

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(406): View more from Montana

I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate

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