I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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