y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
