lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
