It's Friday. Sex?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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