I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
