Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
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I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
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I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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