So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize