You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
is it fun? or sober?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
