Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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