Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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