I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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