Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
