o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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