If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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