Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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