My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
