Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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