I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
