I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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