you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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