My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
