'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
