You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
