Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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