I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
