First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
