I'm jealous of your bromance
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My ass is underappreciated
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
