doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
