do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
