I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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