so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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