What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
