i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
