dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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