i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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