I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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