Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
