just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
