Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
