Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
