Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
