p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
