There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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