i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
All the doctor said was why
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize