There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
