Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
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from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
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Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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