he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
