yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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