I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
God, I missed his penis.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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